Yep.. still an auditor. Never thought I would have held on for so long.

It's been close to two years. Nothing's changed much, really. The turnover in the Audit Department is still as astounding, work-life balance still seems distant.

Bleak - That's the word some have quoted me when morale hit rock-bottom.

There was a time when i believed that I can infect others with a contagious smile. Back when I was a First-year Assistant, I thought that perhaps, just perhaps, I can spread the smile.

Am I smiling now?

This air of depression hovers more strongly than ever, with speculation of pay revision and bonuses becoming the main greetings these days.

Where was the creativity I used to have?

I can't fill a blank page like I used to.

It's only been two years, and it's almost as though I am looking at another chapter.

Let's hope this fresh page will be filled with enriching memories.

I really do hate free-riders.

Happy Valentines’ Day!

It’s that unmistakable look on their faces.
No, we won’t be going home early.
How about KFC couple’s meal?

Yes I love my job. I love it. I love it if you let me do my testing the way I believe it can provide assurance. I love it if you respect my job and don’t tell me to change my samples. I love it when you do not hide my working papers if there are errors noted.

And yes, I am proud of my job.

It’s a job where I laugh when I don’t mean it. And I smile when I give review points, and I spam imbeciles’ emails quoting FRS and IAAs.

I caught a glimpse of the streak of white hair. It suddenly struck me that there’s so much in life, and I was not about to get myself wasted. Not when the CPF promises to support me for life.

How I hate feeling so wasted.

How I hate missing out all these little surprises in life as time races past.

Yes I love my job.
Can I say the same for my life?

The client's access card reader flashed 00:00.

12 midnight.

Not just any 12 midnight.

My birthday.

We've all come to the point whereby we agree that working midnight is nothing.
No, we do it all the time.

"All the time", can sometimes sum up to a whole lot of depression.

Depression is something that leads to the high turnover rate of the seniors.

And when that happens, the jobs get passed to the assistants.

And when that happens, assistants quit.

Which leads to more depression.

On a lighter note, Dinner and Dance is finally over!

No, I didnt win that plasma TV.

Sometimes you cant help but wonder what else there is to look forward to.

Dont get me wrong, audit is EASY.

Audit ( A.U.D.I.T ) Is Easy

Auditors are actually very good-natured people. They love nature. They always try to find out the "NATURE" of the accounts
Everyday, they would ask themselves the "NATURE" of various types of accounts
I have always wondered why auditors work overtime. Are the jobs so difficult?? Or are they simply inefficient??
The Truth is, auditing is Easy, so they must be really Inefficient.
Here's the PROOF.


Audit Assistant
All U Do Is Tick (A.U.D.I.T)
What so difficult??
Ticking should be done without sighting to any documents. Why??
We all should trust one another, right?? How can we take clients in the first place if we don't trust them??
An assistant should be given good appraisal for high valued tick.
They should be paid at least 50% of the ticked value for the risks that they are taking.

Audit Senior
All U Do Is Teach (A.U.D.I.T)
What so difficult??
Anybody can teach anybody to tick! Wonder why there are so many of them hanging around in office after midnight??
Is the laptop monitor more interesting than the television at home??

Audit Supervisor
All U Do Is Throw (A.U.D.I.T)
What so difficult??
All the supervisor has to do is make phone calls only. Simply by delegating "ALL" sections to the seniors & assistants.
In order to meet deadlines, all he has to do is call up the client's place & ask them how is the progress. This will frighten them &
speed up the ticking process.
Better still, call up & tell them, "Em, maybe later I may be coming down" when in fact he is going home for dinner
& never shows up.

Audit Manager
All U Do Is Tidy (A.U.D.I.T)
What so difficult??
Mainly, their only tedious area is having to sign off every working paper.
So I suggest they use paper stamps which has their intials & date. This cost only $10!!
Other than this, their job is to ensure that re-inforcement rings are placed on every piece of paper so that nothing comes out.
What so difficult??
I never understand why they say "Urgent! Urgent!" everyday. If its so "Urgent" why don't they go to the toilet??

Audit Partner
All U Do Is Talk (A.U.D.I.T)
What so difficult??
There are only one question they will ask. Can I sign the accounts?
The answer is, yes of course because it was ticked by ME!!

I figured that the only way to survive was to feel happy. Act happy, feel happy.

Perhaps i can infect the seniors to be happy.
Then perhaps i will really feel happy. So I became this really happy kid on my first engagement.

I didnt count on their depression to get to me first.

And then i realised that i've never missed my friends' warm smiles this much before.

I guess the people around you really matters.

Doing Audit has its perks. We get to go for lunch at more flexible timing, we get some respect from foreigners who come from places where auditors are rather well respected.

I'm lucky. Really.
Got a couple of engagements that are rather huge (That's what the seniors tell me). I'm lucky.
As far as I'm concerned, as long as I get lovely welfares, I'm not complaining..

Tiring as it is, I guess I'm beginning to enjoy work!
:)

Shenton Way only appeals to you when you're 16, gazing in awe at the office ladies in power suits and heel.

In time you grow to realise that there's nothing more to it, except low morale as each day passes, going through the monotonous routines of being brainwashed with the importance of ethics.

Soon you realise that you have no time for your family, friends, and partner.

Soon you'll see the premature wrinkles, coupled with the frown that seems too deeply etched on your face that you cant get rid of it.

Shenton Way exists as a fantasy.

I'm living in it! How very exciting!

It wasn’t long before the thrill of owning a lappy died off. Soon we realized that it meant nothing more than training.

Someone mentioned that auditors have fat asses. I can almost see why, with out butts glued to the chairs more often than we would have liked it.

People are nice though, I figured we’re really treated like the most important resource within the company, so there’s really nothing much that I can complain about.

During the third day into work I came to a horrible realization that my group mates are nothing like my friends’ group mates in the other 2 of the Big Four. I expected lots of drinking and dinner in the first week, bonding sessions, and in any circumstance, mass lunch outs.

Sad to say I ended up crashing other people’s party half the time.

I wonder why?

The thing about auditors is that any gathering, any at all, somehow leads to a conversation that revolves around “the preferred treatment” and “the reversal entries”, resulting in a pandemic of yawns amongst the non-auditors. This strain of virus causes drowsiness even in young healthy adults.

No cure has been discovered to date.

The wonderful thing about being an auditor is that people cast you the look which says "you poor wretched creature" when you introduce yourself.



Somehow, people believe that they understand your job.



Commonly associated with slavery, suits, repression and good salary, this job seems to engage you in a love-hate relationship.






Why the lowest in the hierarchy? I have no idea. I guess as the lowest level in the organisation, coupled with the fact that 90% of your work is vouching, Self Actualization is out of the story.

The only reason why it threatens Physiological / Survival is because we've got to fork out extra cash to buy the nice clothes and bags and pay for cab fares in advance before claiming them at the end of the month and before drawing our first salary, rendering us too broke to do anything else. Not to mention sleep deprivation involved in this job.

So am I looking forward to it?

Free laptops!! :)